How to Recognize and Handle a Self-Centered Colleague at Work
- J.Lee
- Sep 26, 2025
- 3 min read
Some colleagues make work harder than it needs to be. They thrive on recognition, maneuver conversations to keep the spotlight on themselves, and subtly undermine anyone who might outshine them. At first, they may seem confident or even charismatic, but over time their patterns reveal themselves: credit-grabbing, manipulation, and a disregard for teamwork.
Understanding these individuals is not about labeling, it’s about recognizing the behaviors that disrupt healthy workplace dynamics, so you can protect yourself while maintaining professionalism.
1. The Hallmarks of a Self-Centered Colleague
These coworkers are not always obvious at first. In fact, they often present themselves as charming, ambitious, or “natural leaders.” But behind the façade are recurring traits that wear down colleagues:
The spotlight seeker: They constantly steer discussions toward their achievements and become restless when attention shifts elsewhere.
The credit collector: They strategically insert themselves into projects just enough to claim ownership when results are positive.
The blame shifter: Mistakes are never their responsibility. They deflect errors onto others, often subtly, to preserve their image.
The manipulator: They use flattery or false charm to gain favors, only to later exploit those relationships.
The underminer: They withhold information, exclude others from key discussions, or drop small criticisms to weaken your standing.
Each trait may seem tolerable in isolation. But when combined, they create a workplace environment that drains energy and fosters mistrust.
2. Why They Behave This Way
On the surface, these colleagues may appear supremely confident. In reality, their behavior often stems from deeper insecurity and a fragile sense of self-worth.
Control as a defense mechanism: By dominating conversations or micromanaging projects, they shield themselves from being outshone.
Validation as fuel: Recognition from others temporarily eases their inner doubts, so they chase it constantly.
Competition over collaboration: They see colleagues as rivals rather than allies, treating teamwork like a zero-sum game.
Recognizing these drivers doesn’t mean excusing the behavior. But it helps you avoid internalizing their actions, you stop seeing their attacks as reflections of your worth, and start viewing them as predictable patterns.
3. The Impact on the Workplace
The presence of one self-centered colleague can ripple through a team in surprising ways:
Erosion of trust: When credit is stolen or blame is unfairly assigned, colleagues become hesitant to share ideas or collaborate openly.
Reduced morale: Constantly competing for recognition leaves others feeling invisible and undervalued.
Wasted energy: Time spent navigating drama or defending against manipulation detracts from actual productivity.
Talent flight: High performers often choose to leave toxic environments rather than fight for recognition.
This dynamic is not just a “personality clash.” Left unaddressed, it can undermine the very culture of an organization.
4. How to Protect Yourself and Your Work
Dealing with such colleagues requires strategy, not confrontation. Here are proven approaches:
Set boundaries: Keep conversations professional and task-focused. Avoid oversharing personal details that could later be twisted.
Control your narrative: Document your contributions in emails, project updates, and reports. This ensures your work speaks for itself when credit is on the line.
Use neutral responses: When faced with baiting or dramatics, respond calmly and redirect to facts. Emotional restraint denies them the reaction they seek.
Anchor to evidence: In meetings, reference data, timelines, or shared documents. This minimizes opportunities for them to distort reality.
Build alliances: Strengthen relationships with colleagues who value integrity. Collective credibility makes it harder for manipulators to dominate.
5. When to Escalate
There comes a point where self-protection is not enough. If their behavior actively sabotages your work, disrespects boundaries, or damages team performance, escalation may be necessary.
Document patterns: Specific incidents, dates, and evidence carry more weight than vague complaints.
Seek guidance strategically: Approach HR or management with a focus on how the behavior affects productivity, not just personal frustration.
Propose solutions: Framing the issue with constructive suggestions (e.g., clearer project tracking, structured updates) makes your case harder to dismiss.
Self-centered colleagues can’t always be avoided, but they can be managed. By spotting the warning signs early, maintaining clear boundaries, and anchoring your reputation in documented contributions, you reduce their power to disrupt your career.
The key is to remain professional, strategic, and composed. Protecting not only your peace of mind, but also your ability to thrive despite the noise.
For a complete breakdown of all 8 toxic coworker archetypes and strategies to protect yourself, check out Saboteurs in Suits: The Psychology of Toxic Colleagues. Learn how to recognize, respond, and thrive despite workplace sabotage.
