When Suspicion Runs the Office: Recognizing and Handling Overly Distrustful Colleagues
- J.Lee
- Sep 12
- 2 min read
Updated: Sep 19
Workplaces thrive on collaboration and trust. But sometimes, you encounter a colleague who seems allergic to both. They question motives behind the simplest actions, suspect hidden agendas in routine decisions, and view cooperation as a trap.
At first, their behavior may seem like “healthy skepticism.” But with time, you notice a pattern: their suspicion isn’t about facts—it’s about people.
Signs of an Overly Distrustful Colleague
Reading Hidden Messages in Simple Actions
A team lunch invitation is seen as favoritism. A passing joke is twisted into an insult. Even neutral gestures get reframed as threats.
Guarded Conversations
They rarely open up and keep details about themselves under wraps. But they may ask probing questions to uncover what others “really mean.”
Hypervigilance in Meetings
They fixate on tone, wording, and body language—constantly scanning for hidden slights. They might even challenge harmless remarks as intentional digs.
Resistance to Feedback
Constructive criticism feels like a personal attack. Rather than engaging, they may accuse the other person of bias or hidden motives.
Alliance Building Through Doubt
They often whisper suspicions to others, framing colleagues as untrustworthy. Their goal isn’t clarity—it’s pulling people into their circle of distrust.
The Impact on the Workplace
Erosion of Trust: Teams feel fractured when someone repeatedly questions loyalty and motives.
Communication Breakdowns: Colleagues may withhold information out of fear of misinterpretation.
Emotional Exhaustion: Constantly defending innocent actions wears people down, creating a tense environment.
Slow Decision-Making: Over-analysis and doubt delay progress, as even straightforward plans get questioned.
How to Handle This Behavior
Keep Communication Clear and Neutral
Use precise, professional language. Avoid sarcasm or vague statements that can be misinterpreted.
Set Boundaries Around Accusations
If they question your intentions unfairly, calmly redirect: “Let’s focus on the facts of the project.” This prevents you from getting pulled into their narrative.
Document Interactions
Maintain a record of agreements, deadlines, and feedback to prevent disputes later. Transparency is your best shield.
Don’t Fuel the Suspicion
Avoid engaging in gossip or feeding into their doubts. Even small validations of their suspicions can deepen their cycle of distrust.
Escalate When Necessary
If their behavior becomes disruptive or accusatory, involve management or HR with clear documentation of patterns.
Suspicion in small doses can protect a team from blind trust—but unchecked, it poisons the workplace. By learning to spot the signs early, maintaining boundaries, and communicating clearly, you can protect your focus and ensure your team doesn’t get dragged into unnecessary webs of doubt.
For a complete breakdown of all 8 toxic coworker archetypes and strategies to protect yourself, check out Saboteurs in Suits: The Psychology of Toxic Colleagues. Learn how to recognize, respond, and thrive despite workplace sabotage.
